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the Butchering
by jsenn


I felt
the tears burn behind my eyes
as ever so carefully
I asked the question.

Perhaps I knew the answer, but still
I had to ask.
Maybe, I thought, there will be concern
and care felt in the hesitation.

Confused and confusing,
confusingly spoken
staring unbelieving, listening
broken.

Asking why
searching for reason
knowing the answer will be certain.

Still I must ask
still I must seek
reasoning,
understanding
sense or peace.





Dawns the awakening.





Now it's done.
We breathe in slow motion silence.
Will you cry, I thought I heard you sigh.
I only imagined...

It began as a ripping
an excruciating rending
as the knife sliced downward through my center
carefully scraping my bones.

I wanted to wail,
such a painful motion this is
this tearing away of love
intrinsically woven
this cutting from the sinew
from the muscles, the very heart of my being.

Let it be over soon.

It's nearly impossible to stand
(I cannot stand)
It's nearly impossible to wait
(I want to run)
It's nearly impossible to stand and wait
for survival.


But, I do survive.
(we all survive)


Now it's over.

I rise tear stained

quietly turn and walk away.





Did you cry?

(I couldn't look)





Joy Senn
2002
I wrote this in 2002 after watching a friend's delicate love relationship fail. Sometimes, when you think it's perfect it is not, and one must be severed from love. It is excruciating but necessary.

I sent the poem to argylekid and ask him to collab with me by creating an image to go with it. He's posted it here as Simple Truths (Thanks Brett)
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:iconskippyjr:
SkippyJr Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2005   Filmographer
Very good poem,
Nice idea,
I liked this one.
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:iconcageybutterfly:
CageyButterfly Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2004
:tears:
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:iconramdom:
ramdom Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2004
~ moves me. this sorrow.
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:iconokpixel:
okpixel Featured By Owner May 23, 2004
delicate & heartfelt. at times, i feel like i shouldn't be reading. i love it when that happens.
^_^
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:iconamour-etranger:
amour-etranger Featured By Owner May 8, 2004   Photographer
that's absolutely gorgeous, wonderful job
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:icongeobyte:
geobyte Featured By Owner May 7, 2004  Hobbyist Writer
*speechless*

......


Okay, now that I've taken a moment to find the words to say...

This is just breathtaking.

"Confused and confusing,
confusingly spoken
staring unbelieving, listening
broken."


It was that verse when I was just completely swept off my feet and into the rest of the poem, falling down into the wonderful rhythm you have created with the sorrowful, beautiful formation of your words.

The spacing and structure was perfect in helping me feel all the emotions flowing through it.

I think that, as of this moment, this is my favorite poem of yours (but I haven't read them all yet!)...you really got to my heart with the delicate subject...

...You really captured how excruciating the pain of being taken away from love is.
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:iconsweet-cherry04:
sweet-cherry04 Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2004
I can't stop to think that in some way this is what I feel/felt. It's a really great poem, really emotive/emotional (?). I :heart: it ;P :+fav: Keep up the good work :D :peace:
Reply
:iconflutia:
Flutia Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2004   Writer
Your ability to resurrect a topic burdened by cliche and to endow it with renewed originality is unequaled; precision in diction, form, and implementation really make this work.
Reply
:icons--tl-le-ir0n-fist--:
S--Tl-lE-iR0N-FisT-- Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2004   Writer
Like two poems in one, and you couldn't have picked a better title for either one of them. The first half i liked more for the subtlety and the underlying knowledge of what the title was without you fully confronting that aspect. Second stanza gets thumbs up too for the visceral approach and i loved the breakdown as we approached the end, with stanzas become shorter and farther apart. Excellent read.
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:iconchangethecombo:
changethecombo Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2004
this is so beautiful, there was this part..
"It began as a ripping
an excruciating rending
as the knife sliced downward through my center
carefully scraping my bones."
ahhh!!!!.. you can just feel it.
:+fav: this is awesome
Reply
:iconfu-rin-ka-zan:
fu-rin-ka-zan Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2004  Hobbyist General Artist
whoa that's a very moving poem...awesome...prolly my favorite of all your awesome poems...the ending is especially moving...very nicely done! :clap:
Reply
:iconnyctophobia:
Nyctophobia Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2004
Ok after so many people have commented i feel kinda dumb doing the same :) but i cant help myself.

right here and now i have to insert a dumb quote if you will allow me. it's a song i have listened to for a while and it makes so much sense to me.

"I called
Because
I just
Need to feel you on the line
Don't hang up this time
And I know it was me who called it over but
I still wish you'd fought me 'til your dying day
Don't let me get away"

John Mayer - Split Screen Sadness

thats exactly what happened with my ex and I. And i miss him so much even though i know it was the only and best thing to do.


sometimes.. it's just the only choice you have. Just keep telling yourself why it happened and why it was the best thing to do. After a while you believe it.

Sometimes it gets better with time.
Other times... these stains never come out.



.
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:iconngnd25:
ngnd25 Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2004   Writer
Laura told me about this poem after I posted All is Fair and asked if it was too dark to put up. And like she said, many have written about the violence of a break up. You put to words the emotional pain we feel so well, that if I hadn't seen when you posted it, I would have though you had been inside my head this past month. Thank you for sharing this. It is truely a wonderful piece.

ngnd25
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:iconjsenn:
jsenn Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2004
Thank you very much, for the comment and the fav. I read your poem and I wish so much that you didn't have to feel that pain and that it will not torment you very long. Healing is difficult but very sure and you'll rise from it a stronger person. Face another direction, friend, and move quickly. Thank you again.
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:iconnivexus:
Nivexus Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2004   Photographer
I really liked that poem. I havn't read someing as good as that for some time. i thought it was well constructed and very well thought up.
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:iconjmuwolf:
jmuwolf Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2003   Writer
It's well written... but it just feels a little melodramatic if not cliched. *cutting out the heart* Love is a beautiful thing, so losing love is excrutiating...

I loved the beginning, I thought it was great. The end just got a little bit iffy with style, it felt like you kind of hurried it up. Take your time to really explain how it feels, to the very CORE! Even if its not your style, I'm sure you'll be happy with yourself.

(Everyone's so happy on deviant art... people need some constructive criticism... It was a good poem though)
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:icondeejbard:
deejbard Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2003
sigh. who hasn't felt this? but you articulate it so well ...
Reply
:iconrepus:
repus Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2003
Tears

that hurt, and eye really hate that specific pain. the empty feeling that trails behind a lover who walks away is one of the worst sensations in this existence. you have a great passion in your diction, and a wonder flow as well. excellent work...Clap
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:iconlivingbyair:
livingbyair Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2003  Hobbyist Writer
ouch.

this is powerful read out loud. very powerful. Is there a better adverb than very? If there is…I blame the poem, I’ve forgotten everything else after reading it.

looking forward to many more of your words :D (Big Grin)
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:iconxiooua:
xiooua Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2003
Beautiful, and so tragic. I like the structure, and the flow. It's an excellent piece. I wish I had discovered it sooner.
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:iconprincepoo:
princepoo Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2003
great form, nice way to space out the lines to add to the dramatic effect
i like your repetition of structure, and the final few lines.
great imagery, great job =) (Smile)
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:icon-tank:
-tank Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2003
the emotion in this is so stong...powerful...really amazing piece here...great work
-tank

-=don't fear to imagine=-
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:iconkrissie:
krissie Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2003   General Artist
This touched me more than you could ever know. Probably a healthy thing... so thanks. Sorry I'm unable to say more, need that turmoil inside to ease up a bit.
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:iconskyorange:
skyOrange Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2003
maybe i should have listened to you and stayed away from this poem, Joy. but i got so curious and it has Artbot's drawing and i couldn't resist. or maybe i'm a masochist, hehe. you wrote it so well that i remembered...

it's ok though. reading it the second time was a lot better than the first. maybe (i hope) the next time i go back to this poem i won't even recognize the pain.

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:icongaston:
gaston Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2003
.
this poem begins delicately and never lets go of such condition. every word, every line speaks of a fragile state whose only strength is that of the truth. despite the beauty of your words, they bleed; and quite profusely, i must say. pain lingers and does not dissipate, not even when the poem ends.

i've always admired the wonderful way by which you work with words: you color them with the preciseness of emotions to their greatest extent, while maintaining a sense of integrity and strength.

thank you for sharing this beautiful poem.
take care, joy.

peace.
+g
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:iconsummerheart:
summerheart Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2003
This is really beautiful. Excruciating, but beautiful.
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:iconjustb:
justb Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2003   Writer
Wow.
OMG
This was really good.
Thumbs Up
Tears
Reply
:iconkabookie123:
kabookie123 Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2003
God Joy, how do You always manage to do this. Sometime i really think You have been touched by a angel. Whenever i start to doubt the value of this art, the weight it can have in a world so obsessed with the oppression of lit and poetry, i come back here and You inspire me. i laugh crazily at the thought of a world without these wonderful words, and works of art. Drop me a note if You have the chance, i'd love to catch up.
Keep up the great work, as if You could ever stop. :) (Smile)
Love as always
-scott
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:iconmeic2:
meic2 Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2003
And the picture is great too.
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:iconmeic2:
meic2 Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2003
Phew, Joy, this certainly put me through the wringer. It's so beautifully movingly written that I could feel the emotional tension rise line by line, knowing what was coming, dreading it and yet so completely captured by the power of your writing that I just had to hold on to the end.

I wish I could give a SuperFav. +fav
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:iconstars-burn:
stars-burn Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2003   Writer
This is fab. I especially liked the

It began as a ripping
an excruciating rending
as the knife sliced downward through my center
carefully scraping my bones.

I wanted to wail,
such a painful motion this is
this tearing away of love
intrinsically woven
this cutting from the sinew
from the muscles, the very heart of my being.

part. It is so well described and felt by all who read it. It is not so much the traditional heart break but more the heart tear or rip or slice. Very well thought out. +fav
Reply
:icondreamz13:
dreamz13 Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2003
Almost too painful to read on, but I can't stop myself reading this, for it's so painfully delightful to read it. I would really hate to experience it for myself.
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:iconnamaste:
namaste Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2003
*shiver* hard to read this one.
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:iconargylekid:
argylekid Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2003
This is a beautiful poem and I hope I only did it justice.

I find myself in a postion to feel for this piece,
if only I could express in images what you do in words Joy.

Great work as always.

[rock]
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:iconsanguru:
sanguru Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2003  Hobbyist Writer
wow... you have such passion in your writing you make me envious... this poem touches me, for i am too a romantic at heart and have been part of many a failed ideal relationship. the metaphor of tearing flesh away from bone as if that love were part of you made this poem so visual i can still feel it deep inside of me. this is definately one of my favorites from you. thank you so much for sharing...
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:iconkindred:
kindred Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2003  Hobbyist Writer

I do believe that you set out tonight to make me cry!

Beautiful! I don't have some long winded comment or anything to put here, but...it just about hurt to read this.

Wonderfully writen! So glorious to have you back, mom! =D (Big Grin)

Heart
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